5 years since Dads Death

    I don't usually focus on my Dad's death date. Ever since he passed and I would have my sad moments, and I would feel the Lords guidance. One particular time I was having an especially rough day. Hormonally I was a roller coaster and the thought just struck me of how my dad would have just loved Matthew. He worshipped the ground my littles walked on and you could just see it in his face how much he loved and appreciated them. Anytime we would visit, their wants were priority. 

     So probably the month before his death, we were swinging the kids on the swing set out back while mom cooked dinner and he told me how proud he was of me for staying home with them while they were little. We were struggling pretty hard at the time and him saying that really helped put our situation in perspective. I could see the hurt when he talked about not being home when Colton was a toddler and missing out on parts of his life having to work as much as he did to support his family. He worked 6 days a week, and seldom took any time off. He would be out picking up milk and have the flu. He was serious ! I even remember laying in a hospital bed scared to death as they were about to roll me away for surgery when I was pregnant with Brooke and he got there just as they were rolling me into the hall. Dad grabbed my hand, and I don't even know of he knows how much that meant. 

I know he had to rush through work to get there in time. 

    I birthed my 3 babies in that hospital and also learned he died standing there in those halls. 

    

    Here we are 5 years later. 5 years... I can't believe it's really been that long. I still have times that something will sneak up and remind me of him, and it will hit me so hard I have to sneak off to the bathroom to cry. Once I was crying, thinking about Dad when my daughter Brooke knocked on the door. She didn't know I was crying or that I was even upset, but she said " do you want a cuddle ?" I said " sure, hang on a sec " I wasn't done crying. But that was one of those times where I thought  ( dad wouldn't want me locked in the bathroom crying that he's gone, he would want me out there cuddling those adorable little granbabies all I could while I could ) and so that's how I honor him. I don't go sit by his grave stone crying for a life that's lost, I let his presence of his life be a mental reminder and guide that this life is just a blink and a childhood is even shorter, enjoy them while you can, and when the bad days come, those will be over soon too. 

   I love you dad, I miss you everyday. We talk of you often and remember you fondly. I can't thank you enough for choosing to love me as your own. 

See you soon :) 

Christmas Vacation 2013

    Growing up we didn't do vacations. I may have mentioned that before. So once I got married, I always thought that we would be one of those families who went on vacation every summer. Then life happened. We lost jobs, got new jobs, had babies and were busy trying to build a life. 

      

       Then as the girls got a little older, we did a couple weekend getaways. They were always awesome, but also made me nervous about ever really taking a long trip considering how hard it is to get everything planned, together and actually to a destination. 

      Then last year we made it to Disney World !!! I still can't believe that we were able to go. I can't wait to go back and take Matthew !

    But this year we took our first skiing trip to South Fork CO. We had so much fun and up until that last day ( when Brooke and I came down with the flu ) it was so worth it ! 

This was the view from our balcony. It was so nice waking up each morning looking out our window from our bed :)

Matthew was not a fan of the cold or the snow lol he kept saying ( it's Yukky !)

Our girls went the ski school for two days. We went skiing with them on the second day and could not believe how good they were. And fearless ! I was in amazement. A little girl who wouldn't come down off her bunk bed, yet she would ski down a mountain at break neck speeds lol 

We visited the town of Creed where we went up to see a mining area up on one side of a mountain. 

While Shawn went snowmobiling with the guys and Kourtney, we took the girls ice skating. It took Katie a minute to get her ice legs lol